Are you kidding me?!?

Well, y'all here we go again...another flat tire! Saturday, mom came up to watch Eden so I could run some errands and not be in a hurry to get home. Let me start off by saying I HATE hot weather for me the colder the better, okay let's begin. I go out to get into my car and see that my back right tire is going flat and so I head back inside. I tell mom and she suggests that I go across the street and ask my new neighbor (who literally moved in the day before) what I should do since Doug was at work. So, I head over and knock on the door a lady answers we do our intros and she says that's her son-in-law and he's not home. I head back to the house and I see it's a screw and it's in the tread and then I start thinking maybe I can make it to the gas station for air and then to Wal-Mart to get it fixed. Mom agrees and I can tell she was thinking go with God child, but didn't want to worry me so she just smiled. I back out and see another neighbor working on the gate to his fence...he's been working on it for the past 3 weekends so I kinda get the feeling he's no Bob Villa...then I see mom motioning for me to pull over and ask him for his opinion. I do and he says you'll be fine but you need to hurry so I speed off and then I get a call it's mother, "Why are you going 90 mph there's no need to drive so fast." No, but there may be a need for me to learn how to change a flat-I'm just saying! I make it to Wal-Mart and y'all I know they work hard but I don't think any of them are in danger of being offered a job with a Nascar pit crew any time soon. The guy takes my info with a hole in his shorts and ladies he was wearing his shamrock boxers! It must be my lucky day! He proceeds to tell me it will be about and hour and a half wait while we are looking for the key for my lug nuts. Did I mention it's 91 degrees and I am wearing blue jeans because of an unfortunate incident with self-tanner? We are folding seats down and pulling carpet up the whole time I'm trying to get in touch with Doug and losing my religion! Finally, he finds it under the middle row seat and says "For future reference you may want to put this in the glove box," really well for your future reference you may want put on shorts that don't show your nuts and bolts. Oh, and by the way it's the middle of the day so there's no need for me to see your moon either-thank you very much! And off into Wal-Mart I go and as I wondered around the store I found 2 things to be true. First, crack heads love them some Wal-Mart and grown women should not wear Winnie the Pooh shirts-no matter how many pretty flowers are on it. As I stood there waiting I saw a woman who made Amy Winehouse look like she's Liz Taylor (the young Liz not the one who hangs out with Micheal Jackson, although I guess she's not in danger) and another lady who was so rude to the cashier and then I saw that she must be SO mad because her grown female friend is wearing a Pooh shirt, it made mad and I didn't have to been seen walking around the Redneck Rivera with her. Oh, here's the best part a woman and her 30 something year old son start to check out and get this she pulls out THREE different checkbooks because God forbid we pay for it all and sort the money out later. "This is mine, this is his and this is ours," she says with a line of 10 people behind her. Of course the register jams and can't read the check. The whole time I'm thinking if I would only learn how to fix a flat! I check out and I finally get home mom greets me at the door wearing that same smile and says do you need help unloading? No, I only have the one bag and a story for the blog!!

Til next time take care,
Alison